It is refreshing to visit your online memories, the things you pursued during your teenage years, the things you enjoyed, the things which made you happy then, the things that cannot be rewritten, the things that have now become a part of eternity. Although everything online can be altered, but it is good to keep it the way, as it depicts the person you were then.Whatsoever you were, howsoever you were, doesn’t matter now.
I started a blog back in college. Not to surprise I didn’t pursue it for more than 2 embarrassing posts, but I followed many and was an avid reader. Reviewing those post and my comments portrait another picture of mine, the guy I was in college, who wrote exams as xmsss, dialogue as dialog, did the wrong usage of then and than but I was always careful about ‘its’ and ‘it’s’. I didn’t remember if it was on purpose or I really couldn’t fault it out then, or I simply don’t care to read what I write and just click the post button but whatsoever it was, I was callous, and a part of me still is but nevertheless you look back and recognize yourself, you won’t make best out of you in future. Maybe I revisit this one and then notice some other things, but that’s how it works. Always look back. Not to criticize but to analyse.
Now, what makes one go back to those faded memories? The time it is. Bad time, good time, hard time. We all want to relive what we had experienced, with a different blend of spices of course and unless we had spent that time as a convict in a dungeon. Memories bring out the inner you.
The people very close to me call me insensitive sometimes as I have this acute capability of moving on. I never held grudges. Yeah, I forgive and never forget but I really never felt the need to take it out on the person. What’s done is done, we all make mistakes, and we must move ahead accepting them, fixing them. There is no point in sticking to things mourning.
Once my girlfriend broke the news of someone’s death to me saying she was sad that some person who she has never seen or talked with except otherwise mentioned in family talks died. She expected me to console her.
She : (Dull voice) he(Name) died.
Me : Who was he?
She : (Faded relationship description with some person in his 50s)
Me : Was he close to You?
She : No
Me : Did you ever talked to him?
She : No
Me : What was his Full name?
She : I don’t know.
Me : then I don’t care for him and you shouldn’t either.
She : How can you be so cold?
Me : I’m not being cold, but you are being blindsided.
She : Excuse me. Instead of consoling me and saying nice words you are victimizing me.
Me : I’m helping you to get over it.
She : and how is that?
Me : Do you mourn for people individualistically or collectively?
She : I didn’t get you.
Me : I mean when random 10 people die at once in an accident, how do you say your prayers(She is religious, partially)? Like for each of them individually taking names or collectively for all the deaths.
She : this is irrelevant and out of line right now.
Me : At least answer the question.
She : Collectively.
Me : See random 10 people you didn’t know but heard names of, died at once and you mourned collectively. What If they had died the same day at hourly intervals?
She : Same, Collectively.
Me : What if they died at intervals of a complete day?
She : (After a long pause) you know the answer.
Me : I certainly do. See people die every second like they take births every second. We can’t be mourning individually for all of them, and it wouldn’t be justice to mourn for some and not for the rest.
You didn’t know your uncle like many other souls. You two were happened to be related and nothing more. But isn’t that true that we all are related since that’s basic biology. Evolution. And never forget Vasudev Kutumbhkam : All Worlds a Family.
She : but what about people you love? Like you?
Me : I believe you certainly don’t want me to die.
She : (Laughing) what if right now I wanted that exact same thing?
Me : then I would say that there is always an inner circle which is forged with experiences. The circle from which if any element goes missing the circle gets distorted, but it has to be reshaped with our efforts as we all know nothing is permanent. Valar Morghulis. Definitely, reshaping takes time and may be a lifetime but we must. Ruthless Pragmatism it is.
She : I think I agree. You made me a cold hearted like you.(laughing)
All worlds a Family.
Me : and family does not necessarily mean brothers or sisters or cousins. Friends they are. (High-Pitch)
She : I got the momentum friend.(Teasing Voice)
Me : So are you still sad and needs consoling?
She : I think I will pass that. You are blunt but right.
Me : Okay. I think I performed well as a boyfriend and now let’s be pragmatic and let me finish up my work. Will come over in the evening.
She : Okay. I can’t say no, after all, Vasudev Kutumbhkam. And regarding that boyfriend part, will evaluate thoroughly when you will come over.
(Loud Laughs on both sides.)
Me : Goodbye.(Hangs up)
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The human emotions always overpower. It’s not wrong to have emotions, but certainly, it’s not wise to get carried away in them with them by them. And again there are two kinds of emotions. One ‘I don’t care’ and the other is ‘I care for all’. Both leads to satisfaction, and it’s up to you which one to pursue.